bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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