It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
