he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
