haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
