She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
