Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
