All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
