if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
