my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
