All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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