I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
