Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
did i just pee glitter
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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