i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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