I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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