Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How's work?
Spinning.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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