I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
