I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
