is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
