i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
