drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
