I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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