so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
