My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
