He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
