Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
