That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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