period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
