I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
