Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
