i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
