Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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