Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
