Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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