I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
