He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
