Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
