So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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