The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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