That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
