I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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