So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
