ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
