K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
