No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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