Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
