Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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