I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
