Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
