You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
