this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
