i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
